Back to what I love….
I vowed to myself recently that I would make a conscious decision to start focusing on my health and wellbeing again. I mean really really focus on this. I eat well and I walk the dogs constantly. I’m am active person and love seeing family and friends. I enjoy the great outdoors too. But my health and wellbeing has still sort of been neglected over the past year or so. What has made me reassess this now? Injury, random illnesses, generally feeling less energetic and the fact that I am not completely living my life how I want. I had built up my life after cancer to a place that was so fabulous where I was super fit and strong and could take on anything. I feel like I’ve gone backwards a bit. However, that’s OK. I’m not a machine. Despite thinking I am sometimes.
I have no excuse for not posting on my blog or updating my website during the past year or so. I don’t like to admit it but I allowed things going on in my old worklife along with an injury to zap my energy and ultimately take my attention away from the things I love so much. Namely my writing, my website, exercising, challenges, learning, reading and more. It is scary how things happening negatively in life can hit so hard and sometimes have really bad effects that can often take their toll. Yet we somehow come out the other side and before long we must decide which direction to take next. We have the power to make that decision. To take charge and be in control. We have to want it though.
Last year I was not only going through a rubbish time at work but I also injured my feet, ankles and shins. Along with that grieving the death of my precious nanny. The work is by the by and I’m pleased to say I was offered the most awesome opportunity at my local hospice so I am no longer in that horrible position. I won’t go into anymore detail there. My injuries and nanny have really knocked me.
I’m trying to workout how or when my injuries happened. One minute I’m running and taking part in a triathlon. The next I can’t walk without pain. Towards the end of last year it was agonising. I had to stop running. I stopped everything really. Only walking continued. It has had such a massive effect on me because since my cancer diagnosis I have used exercise as a massive part of my recovery. To have that taken away from me has been horrific at times. Thanks to two awesome ladies (one specialising in physio and one in massage) I am now on the mend. But I’ve been grieving. Grieving not only for my nanny but for my usual sporty life that I had no choice but to stop.
I’ve done a lot of thinking and soul-searching during all this time and I’ve acknowledged fully (because health always comes first) that I had to listen to the experts and to my body and wait. Wait to get better and for my body to heal. That’s me taking control. My decision. I’m empowered with being in control. By changing my job I took control. I changed my life for the better. As for my nanny, what I can control was how I deal with the trauma of losing her. I allow myself to be upset. That’s OK. I have the most wonderful memories to look back on. Treasured moments lasting a lifetime.
A friend of ours came round Saturday night and we started talking about my adventures, travels and special moments. I said how it was sad that a lot of things in my life and places I’d visited was before all this amazing technology. Some places I didn’t even take any photos. Which I find really tough. He suggested I write about it all. So I’m going to include that in my blog as well. Because it’s part of who I am and the person that I have become. That intrepid traveller and explorer is very much part of my persona. That adventurous side helped me get better and I strongly believe played a pivotal role in my recovery.
I am loving writing this post so much. Its a short, sharp, very brief blog of some of the things in life that took me away from joys. Well no longer. I love writing. I love sharing my story. I love highlighting all the amazing things I’ve done in my life. I love writing about subjects relating to my diagnosis and recovery. I love celebrating my life. Exciting times ahead.