Run Nic Nac Run

Every 9th October I wake up and am catapulted back to that same day back in 2013. The day that I had a bilateral lumpectomy to remove my cancer. It wasn’t a massive operation but the significance of that day was extreme.

I wake up, on this day, every year filled with such enormous emotion. Every year on this day it happens. My memories come flooding back of how I felt seven years ago at this same time. How strong I was and that I was unduly part of this cancer shit show and that I had no choice but to face it full on.

I look back with such pride about how I handled everything. Don’t get me wrong. There was fear and tears. There was anxiety of what was ahead. There was faith put in people to get me right. I went into hospital that day believing they were going to take the cancer that was trying to take me. I was so strong. I didn’t realise I was that strong. Until faced with this.

I sat in the waiting room with Rich. My loyal, loving husband probably more worried and concerned than I was. I remember the nerves starting to manifest in the forefront of my mind. The magnitude of the situation bearing down on me. All of a sudden overcome with all manor of thoughts. Thoughts that I’m quite certain so many go through.

Was I going to wake up from the anaesthetic ok? Was I going to wake up in the middle of the operation? Were they going to get the cancer? What was I going to look like? Was I going to survive?

Whilst deep in thought, a young child was wheeled past on their hospital bed. Having just come through from surgery. I knew that if that child could go through it, then I could too. I would be ok. I knew it.

A small operation was just that. Out the same day. How clever these surgeons and procedures are. I was bruised and battered and extremely tired but I was alive. Alive and talking and walking and laughing. Like I had always been.

Going home was hard work. Despite remaining so positive I remember feeling so weak and in pain. My parents came to visit me and I could hardly move. The exhaustion of that monumental day in my life taking over my body and soul. My body succumbing to what was inevitable. But I’d got through it.

There’s no glamourising. It doesn’t need to be dressed up into something it’s not. It’s bloody cruel and savage. It’s evil. There’s no joyfully playing around to downplay the seriousness. And I’d got through the first part. A big fat tick against cancer. The midnight train to ‘piss off cancer’ had left the platform and was now well on it’s way to the next destination. Destination Recovery.

These dates are embedded in my mind. An annual reminder of how lucky I am. How grateful I will always be. How I truly believe I owe my life to so many other people now. It’s a constant reminder that no matter what life throws at me I have the power to get through it. We all have this capability. We can all get through the worse situations in life and still be ok. We all have this strength to just keep going.

Not only is this date so important but the month is too. It’s full on Breast Cancer Awareness month. I think should be all year round but October is the dedicated month for bringing it centre stage.

Please everyone check your breasts. There’s lots of great advice on how to do this. Visit Coppafeel or Breast Cancer Now. They have loads of advice and guidance for this area. Never leave it to chance. If you get invited to a screening please do your best to go. If you find anything you’re not happy with please see your GP. Get to know your body.

It was because I was body aware and spotted changes that I was not happy with, that I am here today able to write this piece. Breast Cancer awareness is all year round. Know your breasts is all year round. Taking care of yourself should be all year round.

I love this day so much. Always and forever ♥

#breastcancerawareness #bebreastaware #knowyourbreasts #lovelife #survivebealive