Last night I finalised a page on my website called ‘My Story’. It’s taken a few days to complete as the vast array of emotions, experiences and events come back to the forefront of my mind. There’s been a lot to write down.
So many emotions I’d buried. Not always intentionally but rather more out of necessity and moving on with life. And I can honestly say it’s been a really cathartic experience. I’ve enjoyed writing down the catastrophic impact of what happened. It’s been like a therapy putting pen to paper or rather fingers to keyboard to capture my thoughts.
A real mixture of emotions as I write recalling vivid memories, remembering things that had faded over time. Expressing the rawness of pain and upset that such a thing causes. How it has changed my life.
But all whilst writing, a sense of unbelievable pride. Pride of what has been achieved. The craziness of my life over the past seven years. I’m not one for doing things by half and bringing my story to this site has highlighted that. I go all out and I love it. But I know I am lucky to be able to do so. And I am always grateful for everything that life brings. Every single day is a gift. Like the moon and the sunrise.
Whilst I write this though, although I have humour, love to laugh and have had a wonderful time, I never ever ever have a blasé approach to it all. It cuts like a knife when I think of gorgeous people that I have met along my way that are no longer with us. Some of the most precious people ever. It’s thinking of how scared they would have been and their beautiful families left with the shock, pain and suffering. That gets me. It cuts like a knife when I think of what my family and friends have gone through with me.
I still cry at random little things but I am super bloody strong. I’ve learnt that crying is not a weakness. Neither is being emotional. Quite the opposite. I have a resilience that I think I could take on the strongest of the strong. Any situation can be dealt with. I have determination like nothing can get in my way. In fact a lot of survivors I’ve met have this mentality. That kickarse attitude. And I love it. I love to listen to people more than ever before. I suppose this is because I feel I’ve had quite a lot of time in the limelight of late. Or that’s how it feels anyway. I’ve celebrated quite publicly my achievements and I’m super blimin proud of it all.
My story is one of many. I write from the heart because I am so grateful to still be here. I love my life.
#mystory #survivor #survivebealive #livethelifeyouaspiretolive